For those of you who know me, I have been a little distant lately. I do apologize for having been this way. Life and all the things it beholds has been hard for me for the past years. Well since January... 2006. I am not going to get into details, but I do want to say that I feel low. In a sense I feel abandonment from the deepest love in my life (God). I know that He is there and that He loves me dearly... I just, well I can say that I am seriously going through the "motions". I am to a point where even hanging out with other people sometimes seems to be a burden to me. I wanna be alone all the time and separate myself from all that is relevant.
However being the person God made me I fight hard against the desire to long for deep friendships or even a "relationship". I feel I'm just going to end up hurt or regretting people I get close to. I should be alone... I shouldn't be alone... This I contemplate. But I have God... But I need community. Oh well... I dunno what to say... I am stuck in this rut.. and I feel like there is no way out of it this time. It's been to long. Plus I haven't really had anyone to talk to about life and issues... I mean yes I have vented a little but ultimately I have laid myself down infront of God and have pleaded for help!! Yet.. I still dwell endlessly in desperation for a new "something". I want to read this book I am borrowing from my sister... I don't know why I am borrowing it, cuz I barely ever read... but I want to.. I desire too but It never comes around.
I don't write to nag or to cry about life... I just felt a need to express... Even though this "expressing" myslef on this blog right now feels like a Glacial understatement. I am not asking for sympathy, that's the last thing I need. I am just tired of being on the wrong side of the wall, or climbing up the wrong ladder... ya know enough of that...
Karyn is leaving tomorrow. I will miss her a lot. Pray for her safety and that God will use her in Honduras. She is gonna be away for six months. Pray that God will provide her with everything she needs to be provided with... (kinda vague but I mean everything)
Sarah is in Indonesia... Pray for her too...
I am in Calgary... I need prayer... (it's kinda sad I know)
Well folks that's all I got for this one...
Keep on keepin on'
His,
-Dan
3 comments:
I am praying for Karyn and Sarah -- I will start to pray for you.
I will pray for Karyn and Sarah. I will also pray for you. Hope to see you sometime soon.
Dan you're the best bro a sis can ask for.
and I think your hand licking takes the cake.
Post a Comment