Life, and all it Encompasses...

I can say that this last week has been great... The weather has been pretty nice and the morning air has been great. My daily routine seems to work for me right now...I do my thing to get ready in the morning..by thing I mean shower and shake my head back and worth to style my bush of hair...Then I go on to prepare a smoothie in the Ole Bullet curtesy of my sister for my b-day...def putting this present to max use... then I head to work 30 minutes early to prepare myself for the day ahead (this is really just a time I like to brainstorm strategies for my day of sales)... Meh.. who knows when I will change that routine ...change is good.Perhaps I will add strawberry to my smoothie instead of bananna... ooooo I have been spending a good amount of time "searching for God knows what"... heheh literally... I love the way I dream at night... my dreams have been so vivid my whole life... In fact if you have been a blog reader of mine you would have read some of my dream experiences over the course of time... Although my writing isn't that great, I have tried to express my dreams in writing... Not all my dreams are easy to explain...

Anyhow the God thing... I love talking to God in the mornings when I just wake up... it's like a little Q & A time for me about my dreams... Sometimes He helps me see the meaning of my dream, and other times I go to work pondering all day... I have decided I am going to start an extensive "dream journal"... I think this is necessary right now... God has shown me to seek first His Kingdom in a dream the other night... Even though... "man" (by man I mean "me") always desires ones own wants and needs. I am gonna try hard to seek first His wants in my life... Who knows perhaps that guy has something awesome planned for me eh... heheh jk... I know God takes care of all things and that He is in control of all things.. He loves me and that is enough for me... I know what He has for me now and that is to seek Him... Then the rest will come... I mean I know some things... like going into ministry and music... But as far as other stuff goes I am pretty stommped... hehehe aren't we all... wow... I need coffee...maybe not... Perhaps just a cold glass of H2O....

One thing I have learned over the past couple weeks is not to hold onto to things or desires unless God is prompting me to seek such things/feelings/desires... you know... Not to be hurt for too long... and I don't mean live cold heartedly but remember God heals our hearts and He forms and molds us daily to who He wants us to be... therefor when we are hurt... by all means cry,vent, be angry... but we must...we absolutely must keep walking in His direction... "keep on Keepin on..." This is something I live by now... Life isn't easy... heck if it was we'd all be at the movies sipping coke all the time... But realistically we are Soldiers in the Lords army.. and therefor our lives are a battlefield... whether we like it or not... We are Christians... who said it would be easy... but we keep walking right... honestly correct me if I am wrong...
A heart for God is a heart for people... Love...

I am sorry if this seems like a pointless ramble... but I am sure someone will understand this post...

Keep on Keepin on...I love you guys...

I know I am weird... sorry.... heheheh

His,

-Dan

Miracle

-John d. Webster

I love the way you touch me, I'm so amazed
Your beauty speaks a thousand words,
And then it takes my breath away
You burn me up like fire,
And then you pour on me like rain
It's truly amazing, like a miracle

Chorus:
I see you in the sun that shines in the sky
I hear you in the sound of the oceans tide
I feel you in this gentle breeze tonight
I try to explain it,
It's a miracle to me

You can move my mountains, you can still my soul
You whisper to me like the wind, but it shakes me to the bone
Your Spirit takes me far away, but I feel just right at home
It's truly amazing, like a miracle

Chorus

Truth be told
I just wasn't one for miracles
Let's just say I've changed my view
Cause loving you I've been awaken
The earth starts quaking
I'm blown away I'm overtaken
By the miracle, the miracle of you

I see you in the sun that shines in the sky
I hear you in the sound of the oceans tide
I feel you in this gentle breeze tonight
I try to explain it
I just can't contain it
It's truly amazing
It's a miracle to me

Out of the dark and into His light...

I have thought so much lately about going back to school and getting my music recorded. My talks with God are becoming more and more... Lately I have been discussing a few things with my Maker about life and what that encompasses... I know that this year of my life has it's reason for being the way it is...why all is happening the way it is and so on and so forth. I have met some amazing people this year whom have been great to me. My sister is awesome and she has such a strong heart after God... She has been a huge encouragement to me over the last couple of years.
Others I have met and have become friends with are amazing too. WOOOOT
Life is good needless to say with all that is going on right now... Work is going well and I kinda live alone for the time being until I get a new roommate. We will see how that will work out when time comes.
I wrote an song a bout a month ago or so and it primarily talks about sharing a dream... I think too often we have thoughts or ideas or things that hinder us or things that excite us that we don't share with anyone.. we just keep it to ourselves and I have realized over the last few months that it's so important to share things with God... just literally tell Him everything although he probably already knows... It's just great to say "hey God I don't feel very good" or "God.. why is my arm hurting"... those are just lame examples.. God is more sovereign than we think... I know that telling Him things that are important to us... is so great. Then aside from telling the Lord and laying things at His feet we also have the "body" whom we should share things with... "problems, pains, praises, etc..." I have learned that when we keep things in the dark we are going to struggle hard my friends... It's then, when we don't talk about things that our mind manifests it's own ideas about certain things and twists and turns them until the enemy gets a hold of our deepest secrets. It feels pretty bad when you don't feel like you can talk about something with anyone...
Don't let your thoughts or feelings stay bottled up.. Share them...live them
Share your dreams with others...we are an encouraging body of Christ. Share your dreams with God.
He always listens. He is AWESOME...GOD IS AWESOME!

His,
-Dan

It's cold

Beautiful song...

Music Video:CHASING CARS (by Snow Patrol)

This song is so awesome

Life and things....

This Last month has been interesting...I have been working at my new job now for a little over a month and I really enjoy it.. the people I work with are awesome and really great. I work with a whole bunch of people from other cultures so when we gather to eat at break we all share foods. It's great... mostly it's been a lot of Indian food which I am in love with. I would say that Mexican food and Indian food are two of the greatest cuisines ever known... at least to me that is.
My grandparents have returned home now and are safe. My dad has also returned safely from taking them back home. This gave him a chance to visit his mother and some of our other family. I think he really enjoyed it. I am thankful that he is safe and back here with us now. South-Africa is not the greatest place when it comes to the safety of the ones you love dear. I pray everyday for my cousins and family still there. Our God is Sovereign and He is in control over all. This I believe whole heartedly.
I want to start looking at some more recording options for a CD soon... Like maybe start working on putting a few songs together that are solid and then recording them as a sortof Demo or something. That would be fun...
My shoulder is starting to heart again... I dunno if you know the story behind "Death Arm" but there is one... I discovered a poem I wrote about my arm last year... and well I think "Death Arm" is still alive.

"Death Arm"..

by: Me the body (Dan)

He is my arm and he is dying. He hurts so much and throbs all day. He is sad and frankly, he does not know what to say. If he had a face, he would have tears rolling down it and if he had a mouth he would say bad words, hurting the stomach. However he is only my arm and he aches day in and day out. Please support him with love and care, Maybe even a prayer. He is my arm and he is throbbing, if he had a brain he could possibly be sobbing. Instead he has me, the body that holds him dear. For even with all the pain I love him sincere. Soon we will go to place, were his pain will be fixed. But right now we wait and we wait. We wait becuase we know, That the hand that molded us will fix us, the ultimate restoration will soon be agian. He is my arm and I love Him to bits!

Not much is going on in my life other then work, music and fellowship... God is ultimate and He is strong. And it is when I am weak that the Lord is my strength.

Always and forever...
His,
-Dan

80's music and interprative Dancing

This one's for you sarah....

God+ Music + Life + Bible School Mentality...

So I have known for a long time that when I am feeling "blue" that listening to music or better yet playing guitar/singing get's me feeling sweet. I love music and people who make/record/produce/write/whatever else you do to music/with music. Music is such an effective way to express/vent oneself.
I recently wrote a song about a time in my life where I was broken. Then it came to me that I have been broken for a very long time. It hasn't just been a while, then I realized how wonderful it is to be broken, and that the very word of God speaks about when we are weak/or feel we suck, God our father is strong/doesn't think we suck. I noticed and "looked back" in the past few months and realized that I have written more music in this time of being broken then ever before. It's like I finally see a little clearer why I a have been in this continueous "rut". I am glad and my tongue rejoices. However, I have spent so much time in the past two and a half years trying to figure out who I am and where I hope to be oneday, that I lost focus on who is goinng to show me and who is going to get me there.
Can you guess? Well his name starts with a capitol G.
God is showing me that I need to rely on Him so much more; and that my little world of discombobulated thoughts is so minute compared to what actually matters to Him. I feel great that I have realized this and that I can say it loud without being embarressed, I am admitting to the fact that I have been living a futuresentric life. Focused on the when more then the now and the how rather then the... who cares. If I strive for a life in God's will everyday then how will I be worried about tomorrow if all I need worry about is today. God will give me true peace about tomorrow and the weeks to come. I mean don't get me wrong, I need to be realistic too, and responsible. But I will have peace. Becuase essentially God will provide me sufficiently with what I need and what I do not. In His will we will be blessed.
Recently I have been feeling rather restles, sleeping too little a night and then being uber tired during the day; but it all makes so much sense now... I have realized that I need to bring this change of daily obedience into my life to God. And that... I will do, and He who is great will foresee the change.

BIBLE COLLEGE (BC) MENTALITY

Going to Bible School has opened my eyes to a mentality that isn't spoken of that much and not too many admit to it out loud (don't want to admit to it, becuase one might cross question ones mottives). Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to be rather a minimalist/discrete thing around the student body. What I am talking about is the fact that many people in BC (Bible College) has this idea that when they come here that they will eventually, but hopefully sooner then later meet someone to "get hitched with"(Many lean towards the sooner then later). Meaning that in the first few weeks of School (litteraly) when all the freshies get to res, it's like "PRIME TIME". I mean "holy crap"(I know crap isn't holy) it's like "speed dating". And then after a month or two the ordeal moves onto... oh yes "Let's get engaged'!!! WHAT! Yes, that is what I said aswell. How much can you really, I mean think hard...REALLY REALLY know about someone you have dated for 2 months and then think about marriage. (Once agian, I realize God divinely segrigates two people for one-another and then when they finally meet they "just know" it is the right thing to get married). I say Congragulations! And it's not a tonne of people who actually get engaged but many desire it to happen fast.
Hey I admit, that I myself was sucked into this Bible College mentality Scheme by just the simple psychological frame of "conforming".
It is so lame... The fact or thing that gets to me the most and please don't get me wrong I am not dissing or judging anyone's descisions in life, I am merely saying that for me looking back and seeing this happen was a bit over the edge. I mean yes I believe that God has created us all to long, I mean truly long for a significant other. Someone who will be our other half, whom presumably will make us feel whole. " I was reading "Searching for God knows what" - Donald miller... And he writes about Adam and Eve in the chapter titled "NAKED"... Miller expresses this whole significant other thing so beautifly. Adam waited for Eve for a long long time... He was alone for a long time... something like a hundred years... Afterall God himself gave Adam the task of naming EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL MADE!!! Miller, after doing some research found out there are like milions of diffrerent spieces af living animals. So yeah it must have taken Adam a long (understaded) time to name them all. And in all that time he was alone...no Eve by his side. Adam then spending so much time naming and studying ll these animals realized their need and reliance on one another. (Mating and so forth) Adam then realized how lonely he was, God knew of Adams longing to have something else or someone. Then after waiting along time God gives Adam his Eve...(but not after taking his rib) It's such a beautiful love story... It's poetic and divine, and ultimately brought about the "fall of humanity". But I guess what I am saying is that Adam waiting very long, in contentment for God to give Him an Eve, and like Miller says we have it easier becuase we are born with that lonnging for another, where Adam kinda had to figure it out himself.
This post is probably the longest I have written in a while, but I felt the need to express those things here tonight... Please don't misunderstand the above writing as an insult to those of you who got Married in a short time, like I said congratulations to you all... and may God truly bless your lives. I just needed to voice the Fact that God instills the feelings in us to want more, something, a life partner... but He wants us to know Him and love Him so we are ready to know Him and Love Him with someone else in the picture. He knows what we long for and what our deepest desires are. He is not foolish, He is JUST. I am so glad that I am still single and that I have come to realize this magnificant truth about God's word... I want to be as greatful with my future wife as Adam was when God gave him Eve... I want to wait untill God is ready to bless me with "her".

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. - Mathew 6:33...

Friends be patient (and I have to keep telling myself that as well) but Love is divine it is not a game.

1 Corinthians 13:4-10 (NIV)

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

Oh yeah... The Lord is my refuge


"May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." - 2 Cor. 13-14

Happy thanksgiving
your bro in Him,
-Dan Nel

The return...

I want to just come out and say it... I have many issues.. I need to deal with them, and don't get me wrong. I am definitely not screwed up, but I just think I am out of the "norm". Dealing with my issues is something I have been doing a lot lately. Seeking God and asking Him where I stand in the whole "Him and I" thing we have going. Thus far I have realized that I need Him in so much more of my life than I actually allow Him. It's like I have created this little cage or box in the past of things I allowed God to help me with, and the rest I tried to tackle on my own. Well..hehe let me tell you how badly I have failed... We can not have everything our hearts desire and God at the same time. That my friends I learned the hard way. However, Here I stand... How far will God take me... Here I run... How far will God go with me... It's when I fall broken before His feet that He says, okay lets get up and try again.
Friends, God is so good even if we sometimes fail to see Him in our lives, or when we are so weak that we think we are worthless to the world. We are merely beings of God shaped by Him to accomplish His will.
I will seek Him for the rest of my life, and I will learn new things about myself for the rest of my life too. When I am weak God is my Strength...

I am nowhere near where God is taking me... But I say "bring on the journey". Because it's what lies at the end of the road that I am most excited for.

I love you guys...
-Dan

In the stream...

For those of you who know me, I have been a little distant lately. I do apologize for having been this way. Life and all the things it beholds has been hard for me for the past years. Well since January... 2006. I am not going to get into details, but I do want to say that I feel low. In a sense I feel abandonment from the deepest love in my life (God). I know that He is there and that He loves me dearly... I just, well I can say that I am seriously going through the "motions". I am to a point where even hanging out with other people sometimes seems to be a burden to me. I wanna be alone all the time and separate myself from all that is relevant.
However being the person God made me I fight hard against the desire to long for deep friendships or even a "relationship". I feel I'm just going to end up hurt or regretting people I get close to. I should be alone... I shouldn't be alone... This I contemplate. But I have God... But I need community. Oh well... I dunno what to say... I am stuck in this rut.. and I feel like there is no way out of it this time. It's been to long. Plus I haven't really had anyone to talk to about life and issues... I mean yes I have vented a little but ultimately I have laid myself down infront of God and have pleaded for help!! Yet.. I still dwell endlessly in desperation for a new "something". I want to read this book I am borrowing from my sister... I don't know why I am borrowing it, cuz I barely ever read... but I want to.. I desire too but It never comes around.
I don't write to nag or to cry about life... I just felt a need to express... Even though this "expressing" myslef on this blog right now feels like a Glacial understatement. I am not asking for sympathy, that's the last thing I need. I am just tired of being on the wrong side of the wall, or climbing up the wrong ladder... ya know enough of that...


Karyn is leaving tomorrow. I will miss her a lot. Pray for her safety and that God will use her in Honduras. She is gonna be away for six months. Pray that God will provide her with everything she needs to be provided with... (kinda vague but I mean everything)
Sarah is in Indonesia... Pray for her too...
I am in Calgary... I need prayer... (it's kinda sad I know)

Well folks that's all I got for this one...
Keep on keepin on'
His,
-Dan

Rain on...

So today I was to start this new job that I went for an interview for on Monday. I get there and the guy who hired me and told me to come today wasn't there. So I was like okay.. Good start. Then I waited for like 15 minutes and this guy with the name "Ret" shows up... I know I have never heard such a name. But apparently the male character from Gone with the wind or something is called Rett. Moving Ret came to me and told me that he was to be my crew leader and such. I was satisfied with that and thought to myself, good... We can go on. Then he told me t go sit in a room and make myself comfortable for a while as he was to make a few phone calls. Soon after that he returned and he got me set up with some "gear" which were saftery glasses and a hard hat. Hehehe. He then told me that I'd have to fill out the paper work on a later day because Maury the guys who hired me wasn't there. So once again I was like ooookay... Why not. LOL
We then proceeded on to a site close by the mustard seed that we where working on. I started breaking some pillars down to the beams. As I was working away curiosity hit me and I thought to myself "I wonder what their benefits are like" the benefits Maury told me I would have after a while and that I specifically asked him about during our interview and he told me that I would get some after a while of working there. So at lunch break I went to the "Ret" and asked him about these sweet benefits... Hmmm he said followed by a giggle... Yeah "Maury just tells people that so they would start working here heheh" I was like what are you kidding me. What a joke... So the boss of the company, the guy who hired me lied to my face. ARRRGGG as you could imagine..Yes I had a little rage inside, so I called Maury and asked him about these wonderful benefits, and he completely denied that he told me that... SKETCHY I thought... I then proceeded on home. And that was the end of that job... Weird man I tell you.

Anyhow other then that today was a great rainy day... And I don't say that sarcastically, I love the rain. I whish that it rained more often some days. I had a sweet nap and got well rested. I then woke up and ate some delicious steak. mmmmmm

alright that's it for today folks, ya'll have a good thurs/fri...

Lates,
-Darius....

Such a Mystery ...

In the process of revamping my Xanga, I came across this very disturbing picture of me heheh... I believe I was trying to imitate a Raptor. Yes a dinosaur hahaha. I am sure the sound comes very close to that of the original Raptor "attack noise"... In fact I am willing to wager money.
Sometimes we just do strange things... I hope that answers your question about why I'd be doing such weird things as imitating a Raptor. Or on the other hand maybe you have always thought that I've been a raptor incognito. Who knows...
Beauty is all around us folks, it's just a matter of looking hard enough to see what's really beautiful. The truly amazing stuff.
I once read in a book that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that is absolute bollox. Beauty can not be in one's eye, unless you have like really nice eyes like Rori Gilmore heheh. Better yet I believe Beauty is found in the anthropomorphic cranium. The "human mind" where we think and dream and hope. The eye is just what the brain uses to see. The heart however, is a mystery...

Good night...

Beautiful

And so it Goes
Billy Joel

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretence
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

Lights all around...

I truly have a thing for lights... City lights, highway lights... It all depends on the surroundings too and often time the music Im listening to in my head or on my mp3 player. But I love taking pictures of lights.
They make me wanna dance and sing heheheh.
They are beautiful.
I can't wait to save enough money to buy a digital SLR camera... It's going to be sweet!!
Somedays I just like walk by things and sit there wishing I could snap like a bunch a pictures... oh man... It's so relaxing.


This picture is one I took from a balcony downtown.
in the back you see a the red or green colour (sorry I'm colour blind) is actually a store sign and the white lights are street ligths and cars passing... Aint it so beautiful...
Anyhow... it's almost weekend and I need serious sleep...

Have a good night and sleep to dream friends...

Yet another move under my belt....

Last night at about 1:00 am I hung up my "moving cap" and decided I was done. All my boxes or most of them have been unpacked and our place is feeling like it could be my home for the next year. I love my room and the fact that I have my own bathroom too. I think that I will be able to have some good solitude in my room. It's definitely spacier than my old room so that I am fan of and is totally kief. It felt nice to sleep in today and I was able to get a nice rest for once. I even feel a lot better health wise too. I think the medication the doctor gave me for my bronchitis is working well. I think I am going to watch some Gilmore girls and eat some cereal.
Other then this move being over life is fairly good, I can't some I'm excited to go to work on Tuesday, but at least I get labor day of and that's greaaaat. I stopped by the rez last night to check in with the "Gerry hall" boys and Freshies... Oh it was nice to see some old faces and meet some brand new guys as well.
Anyhow, This year is going to be a huge challenge for me and I need a lot of prayer...please.
Thank you...

Im a out... Enjoy the rest of you're weekends
-Dan

Almost tomorrow...

My recent discovery of a "sweet" something new has gotten me hooked. I am not at all imbarassed to say what it is either. Gilmore Girls is a great show and I started watching it right from the start today. Episode 1 thru 5 hahah yes five hours. It seems a little intense I guess, if only I could do that with a good book and read for five hours. Reading more is something I really yearn for. Anyhoo this show (Gilmore Girls) is awesome. The characters are great and the neigbours are weird, however they remind me of real people.
Today I went by my sisters house to grab some boxes for my move on Saturday and ended up talking with a couple of Merissa's roomates. I then proceeded home to continue my 5 hour streak of what I am now hooked on. Before I got home I thought about what I read last night at a bible study. I realised that God is so just... He has so much reason and is so powerful in making things happen. I thought about my situation about not being able to go back to school for a year and how I am scared about what this year is gonna have instore for me... I wander about my sanity at work... and the music that I have written and what to do with all the descisions or goals/plans that stream through my head. Ultimately I came to the conclusion that only God knows what will happen with all those things... Only He has control over the outcome in the end.
I seek Him daily and lift problems, praises and issues up to Him becuase He will help me deal with them. It's just a little frustrating to know that I won't be going to school. And I am trying to except that He has a reason for this year... I am just ansy... Oh God knows... He does.

I need more time for me, alone time away from work, and life stresses, but where does one go or what do you do to find such a place or a time to have peace and quiet... In His word? I get distracted with stuff... I need to find a place of solitude. I will succeed... Only with Him guiding me though...

Work is 7 hours away I need sleep, I need to dream.
Listen to the Father speak...

Good night all,
Dan

OJ and Pannekoek

Yes... It's been a long time since I have taken the time to write or rant on this particular blog of mine. I only have two hahah. Anyhow... Today opens the door to a new Era for this Blog and will once agian be awoken from the long slumber which it resided in. My life and anything you've missed since the last blog I wrote can be filled in here on my Xanga.
But for now I will intrigue you with this "Kief" new ERA of BLOG.
What inspired me to do this were a few things or people ...
1. Meghan who uses Blogger
2. My sister who uses both blogger and Xanga
3. My old post from this blog... so crazy reading stuff from back then
4. yeah that's it... I think

So I will write on both, but this one will have different posts then the Xanga, so if you read my Xanga, and can't leave a comment but you reallllly want to and you are a Blogger then leave a comment on this page and vise-versa for Xanger's who read this blog leave a comment on the Xanga.

Now to explain Ye O'le title to this blog...
I came home after an awesome evening at Merissa's place were her roomates( Julie, Nicole , Meghan) and I and a few of my friends (Adam x2 and steph) had a time of worship and just a genuine good time in fellowhip.... It was "kief"( a South-African slang term - kiff, kif, kief - (adj.) cool, neat, great, wonderful (from Arabic, kayf, meaning enjoyment or wellbeing...
I came home and was really wanting pannekoek ( shown in the pixture above). So I made some and drank a sweet glass of orange juice with extra pulp. MMM I love extra pulp.
Now I am full, now I am ready to go to bed and sleep to dream...

I am heading home with Merissa tomorrow to visit our "Rents" and then coming home for a Bible study and time of prayer... God is good and life is singing along...

Have a good night world and sleep to dream...

Blessing,
-Dan